Rheumatoid Arthritis and weeds and it’s all in the way you look at it

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I had a good day yesterday. These days a good day means I have three or four hours where I’m able to get up and move and do a few things.  In fact, it’s not a good ‘day’ as such…it’s more a few good hours.

Normal is what you get used to.  And that used to be my normal.  I want it to be my ‘normal’ again.

But today is substantially worse.

I DID however manage some weeding.  Only an hour.

My garden is a disaster. The first photo is what I achieved. Looks pretty good. Very satisfying. I hate weeding, and gardening, but I DO like that it’s an instant gratification thing.  You can immediately see the fruits of your labour.  That part I like.

So this part looks pretty good now.

weeding

Then I take a wider shot to see how much more NEEDS doing.  I have done maybe 1/8th of the garden bed.  So, about seven MORE hours to go.

That’s a depressing thought.

2015-10 garden weeding2

But, I don’t have to think about what I have left to do. I can think about what I got done.  I cleaned up that small area.  And that small area looks heaps better.  That small area makes me feel good. So that’s what I’m focussing on.

That’s pretty much a metaphor for how I live my life.

It’s not that I’m in denial. I just choose to be grateful for what I can do, rather than focus on what I can’t.

Other people might think I’m nuts. Or that I have very low expectations. But other people don’t have to deal with the pain and fatigue and other challenges my life presents.

I’m the only one who knows that.  And, considering all of that, I’m doing really well.

Or that’s the way I choose to look at it.

2 COMMENTS

  1. I can relate, not about the gardening, but to the feeling of being grateful for the small things. As a single mom with a depressed child, I am relieved every day if I get through my day at work, taking public transportation, and figuring out dinner. My inflammation is finally down, but I was unable to do many things over the summer due to pain, fatigue and lack of resources. Physically I am better, but mentally and emotionally drained. We have no one to help run errands or give me a break from routine.

  2. I totally understand Joanne. Both my kids have anxiety issues as well. And sometimes I would give anything to just be able to handover to someone else for a while! I’m glad that you’re doing better physically. I hope that in time you’ll feel better emotionally as well. It’s not easy, without any support. Is there anyone who can give you a break, even a few hours? Or just get your groceries for you, or make a meal? Those little things can mean so much. Hang in there. You have a fantastic attitude, and you will get there.

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