I had my first ever Reiki session today. I had no idea what Reiki was all about, but I had heard the term. As much as I knew is that it’s an alternative healing therapy. Nothing more. And I purposefully didn’t research, or google, or ask anyone about Reiki and what they thought. I wanted to approach it with a completely open mind.
I’m not a cynic, nor even a skeptic, but I am evidence driven. I don’t just hand over my faith and my money to anyone who says they can cure me. I almost find the promise of a cure arrogant. Severe Rheumatoid Arthritis is not a curable condition.
But I have seen many people turned around with diet, lifestyle changes, exercise, supplements, acupuncture…I have tried all of these myself. Can these all have been ‘mild’ cases, or misdiagnosed? Hard to believe.
This treatment was offered to me for free, asking nothing in return. Such is my practitioner’s belief that he can help me. I get miracle cures offered up to me all the time. For the very fair price of $49.95, I can be pain free forever. Yep. Right. Thank you…Delete! But when someone is offering to help, and asks for nothing in return, I guess the only decent thing to do is accept with gratitude.
So I just had my first session. A basic run down on Reiki is here. It’s hard for me to do it justice, there is so much to learn and digest. And some of it is hard to adopt.
Angelic Reiki, the form that my practitioner practises, is based on the Law of Attraction, that I have heard of to some degree. In its simplest form, what you put out to the universe, the universe will send back to you. Postivity begets positivity, negativity begets negativity. I do subscribe to that idea, to a degree.
Another basic tenet of Reiki is that we are not here to suffer. We are here to be happy, and live a life that is fulfilling and enjoyable. Very easy to subscribe to that philosophy. In fact much of what we discussed, I agree completely with. I just have a different terminology.
Another central tenet is that the body can heal itself. That all disease is curable.
I have a road block with this. For the first many years of my disease, I was going to beat it. I didn’t even accept that I had rheumatoid arthritis. From the start of this blog, I envisioned the day that I would write that I am cured. I have beaten it. I have won.
Over the years, my goal changed, and it became to live well, to live happily, in spite of being in pain. I don’t always achieve that, but it is a philosophy that has served me well. Most of the time I am happy. I am always in pain. I had to find a way for these to co-exist, or live a life of misery.
So now the goal is to visualise myself, not just happy living with pain, but being pain free. And disease free. And drug free. That this reality is within my control.
Misinterpreted, this philosophy can be turned to say that it’s our own fault we are sick. I’m sure we’ve all been told that at some time. By a doctor, by a family member, by a friend.
But this isn’t the way it came across. It came across as your attitude shapes your reality, including your physical body. Which I believe…but I believe there are limits. Reiki would say there are no such limits, and if I accept that there are no limits, my body will be healed. I’m a long way from there. I’m very much still focussing on living my life in the best way possible in spite of living with constant pain.
That’s the philosophy. In practice it works like this: In Angelic Reiki, your practitioner is a conduit. He or she will facilitate the healing that the Angels endow. So you need to have a connection with your practitioner. The first session is the longest, and is all about building that connection. You need to talk openly and honestly and establish trust. Much more quickly that I would in any other setting! Then the actual healing session takes place.
The room is cleansed, the archangels are present. There are candles and incense and soothing music and an environment of utter peace and calm. I challenge anyone to not feel happier and less stressed under these conditions.
I was asked to lie on the table and clear my mind. Focus on the music and whenever my mind wandered to bring it back to the music and empty my thoughts. My practitioner laid his hands on my upper chest for the ‘soul’ and my abdomen for the ‘self’, and remained that way for the duration of the session. This is how he transmits the healing energy to me.
And here’s the paradox. I felt such relaxation and tranquillity it was beautiful. Emotionally I felt lifted, and cleansed. But in the absence of all other stimuli, my pain levels increased dramatically. Nothing else to focus on, nothing to take my mind off it. Not allowed to mentally block the pain.
So while it calmed my mind, and gave me peace, it increased my pain levels exponentially. Interesting.
I no longer panic when the pain is terrible.
I used to. Fear makes pain worse. Telling yourself it’s going to be unbearable absolutely guarantees that it’s going to be unbearable. This is the Law of Attraction and Reiki, just under a different banner. I’ve always just called it a self- fulfilling prophecy.
So I can ride through the pain, although I wasn’t expecting to feel physically so much worse.
Contrasted with feeling emotionally so much better, it’s an unsettling experience indeed! Confronting.
The session did unlock many of my core beliefs, and that I do see myself as ill. If the mind does control the body, which there is much scientific study to support, then I will remain so. I understand this idea. But I also cannot believe, at this time, that I can heal myself completely with the power of my mind.
But the idea of being cured, being pain free (drugs or no) is too seductive. It’s what we all desperately want above all else. Our lives back. To NOT be controlled by pain. TO have choice returned to us. To have freedom. I admit I went to sleep fantasizing about it last night.
So I have committed to coming weekly for the next four weeks. And then we’ll assess the treatment, and decide where to go next. I am very grateful for the opportunity.
Right now I feel very relaxed. The drive home was torturous and I had to take double the pain killers when I got home. The oxycodone has taken the edge off. But mentally I am calm.
And I feel…happy.