Rheumatoid Arthritis and keeping my pain meds (oxycodone) by the bed

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oxycodone -Targin and oxynorm
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I have rules that help me get through the day.  Get through my life.  Rules that keep me moving. Rules that keep me trying.

One of them is keeping my pain medications (oxycodone) in the kitchen. The kitchen is as far away from my bedroom as can be. But I keep them there so I have to get up every morning.  I have to wake up. Stretch out.  Gently move my joints…wake them up.  Roll over. Sit on the side of the bed.  Stand.

Walk.

‘Walk’ is usually an over statement in the morning, I usually hobble.  The mornings are pretty horrendous right now.  That moment when I stand, and I have to bear weight. All my joints scream at me to lie back down.

But I don’t.

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I have to walk to the kitchen, to get my pain meds.

It forces me to get up.  Once I’m up I heat up my heat packs and strap them to the joints that are screaming the loudest. Always my lower back.  I walk up and down the hall way a few times, to try and loosen up.  It’s like walking on broken glass.  I boil the kettle, I make myself coffee.  I take my pre-breakfast meds.  I head for the couch, to wait for the pain meds to kick in.

None of this is any fun.  Not even remotely.  It’s the most painful part of the day.  But I have moved.  I have gotten out of bed. I have started the day. I am fighting to keep my mobility.

It’s essential, not only physically, but psychologically.

At this point my kids are old enough. At 13 and 14 I could let them get up and get themselves ready for school.  They can do that.  Lots of kids their age don’t have parents there in the morning to have breakfast with. They have gone to work.

But I need to be up for my kids.  And for me.  The one benefit of this disease is time spent with my kids.  And I like to talk to them in the mornings. Get them set for a good day.  Or so I tell myself.

But yesterday things changed.

I could not get myself out of bed.

My hips locked.  My lower back…I can’t describe it. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t roll over. I couldn’t get up.

My son had to go and get my pain meds for me. And I couldn’t get up until they started to work. A good 20 minutes.

On a morning where he was already anxious (first day back at school after school holidays) it was an extra stressor that he didn’t need. Worrying about me.

So rules are great, but for a little while I have to change the rules.  Physically, I’m a real mess right now.  Pretending it isn’t so just puts the pressure onto my Aspy son.  And that’s not fair.

So tonight I’m keeping my pain meds next to my bed. And I’m setting my alarm for 30 minutes earlier.

I’ll take my meds in bed in the morning.  I don’t want a repeat performance of this morning.  By the time my son’s alarm goes off, my oxycodone will have taken effect.  I will be mobile and able.

It bites.

But it’s the big picture that matters. And I’m telling myself it’s only temporary.  Things will improve, and then I’ll go back to the old rules.  Right now I just have to do whatever I have to do to keep the wheels turning.  Keep our life ticking over.

And I have to be OK with that.

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