I got a lot done today, but it doesn’t look like it. Every room in my house is in total disarray and it drives me crazy. I hate it. It stresses me out. So why am I doing this to myself?
I need to move from this house. This house has six stairs down into the garage, and without high doses of prednisone, I need a wheelchair. And the wheelchair can’t go down those stairs. And a wheelchair hoist is 30K, which is ridiculous. And the house can’t be ramped successfully via other doors.
So I need a flat house, with no stairs, and wider hallways.
I’m not even going to talk about the emotional cost of having to leave my home. People just dismiss my feelings, anyways.
So let’s stick to the practicalities.
I need to sell my home. I need to buy a new home.
To sell this house, it needs new carpet. I can’t carry two mortgages, so I need to fix this house before I sell it. Which means emptying out every room and re-carpeting them.
All the furniture, in every room, needs to be transferred to the garage, or outside under the pergola. The carpet is being laid next Monday, so I have no choice but to get this done. It will take four days and it will be a careful balance of emptying out rooms, carpeting, prepping other rooms, and moving furniture out, then back in, then out again.
I wish I had another me. I’m not asking my ex-husband for help. He’s a jerk and he wouldn’t help anyway. Gamerboy just flat out isn’t strong enough to lift a lot of this stuff. And his temper is such that more stuff would get broken then get moved. Autism, people. Look it up.
The Chicklet can help me with the smaller stuff, shelves, lighter tables, even the buffet. And she can carry bags of crap out to the garage.
The real problem is the two lounge suites, the big square full wood, heavy AF dining table and having someone help me carry those. Despite having severe RA I am strong, and I am tough. And I am taking Actemra now, which is making a fairly massive difference. At least a 50% improvement.
Most people classify RA into mild, mod and severe. But after that there is also disabling RA and life-isn’t-worth-living RA. I’m coming back from those and Actemra is settling me at severe RA, but I’m really hoping that in future weeks, I might get to moderate one day. But right now? I have to get this done with severe RA.
And it’s doable. I know how to pace. I am strong. I have a high pain tolerance. Those three things will enable me to get this done. Oh, and my innate stubbornness. And I need one other person, to hold the other end of the heavy table, and the couch that needs to be manoeuvred through the door, because it only makes it through by centimetres. I just can’t do that alone. And that other person has to be understanding of my limitations. I can do it. but i have to do it my way, and slowly.
I have two ‘handymen’ types who I’ve contacted and one of them should be able to do the job. You would hope. But handymen and tradies are notoriously unreliable, so the whole thing is pretty damn stressful. Not to mention extremely painful (physically, for me).
But the rewards will be great. This house is going on the market for almost 200k more than I paid for it four and a half years ago, so it is financially worth it.
It is NOT the way I planned things, though. It is not the way I want things, but as always, my feelings aren’t important. And the greatest irony of all is that if Actemra keeps doing what it’s doing, I don’t need to move at all!