It’s days like these that really bite. I just had to go down to the local medicare office to claim back expenses on my last procedure – the endometrial ablation.
Pain relatively controlled, off I set in my car. There was a disabled car park not too far from the office. The 50 metre walk was still exhausting. The nasty hard chair I had to sit on while I waited was brutal. The dirty look the lady gave me when I hobbled to her desk when called I just ignored.
She sorted my problem quickly. Good. I thanked her.
Then the walk all the way back to the car. All of 50 metres. Driving home my body felt leaden. Fatigue setting in. Now I’m home and I have to lie down.
Have to.
I have to take my car to the mechanic for a minor repair in just over an hour. Not enough time to sleep. In fact I have to guard against sleep. And set an alarm just in case. The cigarette lighter has broken, and while I of course do not smoke, I plug my GPS in and power my phone there. I need my GPS. So I don’t have to think when I’m driving to navigate the town I’ve lived in all my life. Such is brain fog.
This afternoon I have to pick up my daughter from a theatre near her school. A 20 minute drive. Its her End of year presentation night tonight. She is receiving an award. I have to go. I WANT to go. I know already that it will require almost super human effort to do so. I will call my ex husband and ask him to drive. Otherwise I would not be able to go at all.
I am angry.
Angry that my life is so impaired. That pain rules what I can do. And even if I can block the pain, the fatigue still prevents me from living anything near a normal life.
One small trip to town. Ten minutes away. And I am broken. And beaten. And angry.
But that will have to wait. Because right now I have to lie down.
