Pain and fatigue just suck!


It’s days like these that really bite.  I just had to go down to the local medicare office to claim back expenses on my last procedure – the endometrial ablation.

Pain relatively controlled, off I set in my car.  There was a disabled car park not too far from the office.  The 50 metre walk was still exhausting. The nasty hard chair I had to sit on while I waited was brutal.  The dirty look the lady gave me when I hobbled to her desk when called I just ignored.

She sorted my problem quickly.  Good.  I thanked her.

Then the walk all the way back to the car.  All of 50 metres.  Driving home my body felt leaden. Fatigue setting in. Now I’m home and I have to lie down.

Have to.

I have to take my car to the mechanic for a minor repair in just over an hour. Not enough time to sleep. In fact I have to guard against sleep. And set an alarm just in case.  The cigarette lighter has broken, and while I of course do not smoke, I plug my GPS in and power my phone there.  I need my GPS.  So I don’t have to think when I’m driving to navigate the town I’ve lived in all my life. Such is brain fog.

This afternoon I have to pick up my daughter from a theatre near her school.  A 20 minute drive.  Its her End of year presentation  night tonight. She is receiving an award. I have to go. I WANT to go.  I know already that it will require almost super human effort to do so. I will call my ex husband and ask him to drive. Otherwise I would not be able to go at all.

I am angry.

Angry that my life is so impaired.  That pain rules what I can do. And even if I can block the pain, the fatigue still prevents me from living anything near a normal life.

One small trip to town.  Ten minutes away. And I am broken.  And beaten.  And angry.

But that will have to wait. Because right now I have to lie down.


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