A negative mind will never give you a positive life
Maybe so, but thinking positive sure as hell did nothing positive for me. I wasn’t faking it, I was just trying to be happy, putting a smile on my face, and making the best of things. That’s who I was, and people liked that person, because she gave a lot, and she was easy to be around.
But it meant that because I was so positive, people assumed I would get through anything. That I’d be fine. Well, I can’t. And I’m not. I’m human. Newsflash. It suits people to tell themselves I’ll be fine, and I’m just over reacting, because then they don’t have to help.
And it also meant that when I tried to talk to people and ask for help, they just gave me platitudes. One liners. Reduced my problems to a single sentence sound bite. When I would listen for hours to their problems, and empathise and give support, but they would give me advice. Simple advice, like, “Well, just don’t be hurt. They can only hurt you if you let them”
That’s utter bullshit. You can’t help your feelings. You can only control your actions. If someone hurts you, you can’t help being hurt. And you cant control how much it hurts. You can only decide whether you are going to hurt them back or not.
I don’t hurt people back, because it’s impossible to just hurt the person you want to hurt back. There’s always fallout. Other people always get hurt in the process. And then THEY hurt back. And on it goes.
But people decide to hurt me all the time. Because I can take it. I’ll be fine. I’ll recover. Except there’s limit, and I reached it a while ago.
