Endocrinologist consult, May 2018. Or months of waiting for a complete waste of time

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I saw the endocriniologist I’ve been waiting to see for three months.  She was nice enough, but she doesn’t want to take me on as a patient.

Too complicated. Messy.  She’s not familiar with the HRT I’m taking, and she doesn’t want to know.  She doesn’t agree with dessicated pigs thyroid for Hashimoto’s and she thinks I’m a bit alternative.  She also thinks I’m too complicated. She didn’t want to look into my Adrenal Insufficiency, she just figures its Secondary Adrenal Insufficiency, when that’s not a given (yes, its more likely.  But to be thorough, she should check).

She was sympathetic…but she wouldn’t help.

She said I need to get down to 7.5mg of prednisolone before she can help with my Adrenal Insufficiency.  She advised me to start tapering, because my doses now and for the previous few years are dangerous and will kill me.

I know this.  Many doctors have already told me this.

But no doctor will deal with the fact that I get to 10mg of so and my body falls apart.  I have gone to the ER, and all THEY do is tell me to up my prednisone.  Because I’m in Adrenal Crisis.

But my consultant doctors say that I can’t be in Adrenal Crisis at 15mg.  Because the physiological equivalent dose of prednisone equivalent to cortisol is 5mg – 7.5mg.  So I need to be below that, to go into Adrenal Crisis.

This, of course, is Not true, because when the body is under stress, e.g. an illness, virus, bacterial infection you need more steroids.

I’ve gone into Adrenal Crisis many times now. It’s dangerous. It can be fatal.

She told me to stress dose for only a few days in future. When I went to the ER back in March, they told me to up to 40mg and taper by 5mg each week.  The endocrinologist told me no, only stress dose for three days, then go straight back to the original (taper) dose and continue to taper.

Ok, fine. Good, I’ll do that in future.

It’s clear to me no one has any freakin’ idea.  No one knows or cares about  Adrenal Crisis.

Anyway, that’s that…come back when you’re at 7.5mg of prednisolone.  No care, no idea how to get there, nothing.  Not her problem.

Onwards to Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis.  My thyroid levels are fine, and she doesn’t agree with dessicated pigs thyroids as treatment. It has too high a T3 to T4 ratio.  I said I was open to switching to synthetic T3 therapy, but she didn’t want to manage that. She told me to just keep doing what I’m doing if its working.

But its NOT working. I’m 17kgs overweight, depressed, extremely fatigued and I have no libido.

I am also anorexic, because when my weight goes up, I stop eating.  I haven’t eaten solid food regularly for a few years now due to Eosinophilic Esophagitis.  I take in between 600 and 1200 calories a day.  I have been hanging out for this appointment because my mental state has been deteriorating due to the massive weight gain.

Testosterone would help that.

Women need testosterone, but doctors like to ignore that fact.  When I asked her about the weight gain, she said women always gain weight after surgical menopause. I said no, the first few months were fine, and then the TESTOSTERONE worse off, and then I started gaining massive weight.  1kg a week, nothing I could do to change that. Diet, exercise, nothing had any effect.

Then testosterone pellet inserted, and weight loss!  Not quite a kg a week, more lke half, but weight loss was possible, with continued low calorie diet and regular exercise in the gym.

I lost weight.

Then the testosterone wears off, after 2 months or so. And the weight gain starts again!

And it is driving me nuts. I can’t stand being this overweight. It disgusts me and I hate myself.

My mother put me on a diet when I was four. Four years old. She wanted a dieting buddy and my sister was slim.  So, she put me on her stupid, crazy diets too. So she set me on the road to anorexia and bulimia.

I can’t eat food when I am overweight. I can’t.  And I can’t accept this weight. I have NEVER been this heavy and its just another reason for me to hate the surgeon who did this, and screwed it up so royally.

And hate the ‘friend’ who recommended her, and recommended hysterectomy. SHE also gained a lot of weight. She just wanted me to suffer the same fate.  She makes me sick.

So here I am.

I have to find a doctor who will prescribe testosterone.  My gynocologist will give me pellets, but they only last 2 months instead of the 4-6 months they are supposed to.

I can’t stand being this depressed anymore.  I know what will ‘fix’ me, but doctors won’t listen.

Seriously, with all my health issues, the risks of too much testosterone (acne and excess body hair) really aren’t a big deal. You took my damn ovaries away, they produce testosterone. Its only logical that I need testosterone supplementation!

I will have to fight hard for this. I will have to find studies, then find a doctor who will prescribe.

I went through all of this with the dessicated pigs thyroid too. It took years. And I was overweight for ten years while I figured it out.

Now here I am again.

And I’m done. Fed up.  Sick of doctors and their bullshit ways.

HELP THE FREAKIN PATIENT!

She may have been nice, but she didn’t want the hassle of me. How ‘nice’ is that really?

She told me to buy new clothes and get used to being obese.  That my ovaries are gone and there’s no winding that clock back.

No shit.

She could have saved me a whole lot of trouble if she’d read the referral.  Despite knowing better, I did hope she would be open, and would help me.

She said she would look into the testosterone cream that I want to be prescribed.

In the meantime, I’m going to look at getting black market testosterone. I can’t live this way. I lived this way for years and it ruined my life. I can’t do it again.

I can’t.

I barely eat. I eat mostly vegetable mush.  Food holds no pleasure for me anymore, when people are around I eat a little of whatever. I chew thoroughly and I can get away with it. To be normal.  I never eat out.  And people look at me and think that I must eat like a pig.

And I exercise. I can only lift light weights right now, because the compressed nerve means I can’t use my left leg to jog, so its hard to get my heart rate up high enough to really make a difference.

So that’s it. I can’t live this way. Since my mother instilled in me how terrible it is to be overweight, I can’t stand the feeling of the rolls of fat. I can’t stand the feeling of tight clothing. I’m wearing size 18 clothing and its all too tight.

I could KILL the surgeon who botched my surgery and took my ovaries. I had no idea now much weight I would gain, and I would never have agreed. I would have risked cancer ahead of this.  This is how I’ve been brought up, and I have a psychicatirc illness – anorexia nervosa.

You won’t understand.  I get that, so you have to also.  Please, do NOT tell me that its not the end of the world to be 20kgs overweight.  Because to me, it is.

And doctors could help me, but they won’t.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Oh my, I bet you could have just screamed after that appointment. It is so hard to understand these Endocrinologists that are suppose to be specialists in their field, just dismiss all your problems that are hormonal related. You have thyroid disease, surgical menopause and adrenal insufficiency. You are not making this stuff up, yet she’s just fobbed you off and put you in the too hard basket. I cannot imagine how frustrated you are right now. A few years ago when I was having issues with thyroid stuff and the Endo didn’t know what to do with me, my GP suggested sending me to a Physician that works at our local private hospital. My understanding was that the Physician has a good understanding of all the systems of the body and can look outside the box, as opposed to specialists that just see the box they know. I don’t know if this would be something that could help you. I completely understand that you see so many specialists and they are all expensive and you are probably sick of seeing new doctors but I wonder if maybe a physician could help. Oh and by the way, I’m with you on the 20kg weight gain. Bloody hormones. Wishing you some kind of luck in all this crap that you are going through x

  2. Unless those new clothes are soaked in testosterone I don’t think much of her advice. I hope you get some help from someone soon-you deserve better.Take care.

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