Disability life – the jilted gardener


I hired a person to do my gardening, that is, mowing, weeding and trimming back of the hedges.  She did an OK job, not bad, not wonderful, just fine.  Happy enough. 

My neighbours hedges overhang my yard and I asked her to cut those back. She wasn’t comfortable doing so, and said it wasn’t allowed.  I checked with the relative local government authority and was advised that I could cut back any branches overhanging my yard.

She said she didn’t think that was correct and didn’t want to do the job. Cool.  No one should do work they aren’t comfortable doing.  I told her not to worry about it, I’d get someone else, and I didn’t think any more about it.

I hired someone else to do it, and he also mowed my lawn while he was there.  The original person texted me a week later and asked if I needed my lawn mowed. I said no thanks, apologies for not being clear, but I’ve had it done already.  I said I’d get back to her if I needed her.

Frankly, the second person did a much better job for half the price.  So admittedly, I had no intention of getting back to the first person.  I just didn’t want to say “I’ve found someone better.”  I’m guilty of the little white lie to avoid drama.

Which, by the way, is my choice.  I get to choose whom I hire.  Just because they mowed my grass three times does not mean I have to use them forevermore. 

This morning I get a text from her.

She’s very disheartened to see me posting on social media looking for someone to remove rubbish, which she would have been happy to do.  She works very hard, and she worked very hard for me, and she’s upset that I went looking for someone else, and I really should have told her if I wasn’t happy. That she’d done an excellent job and she is the very best at her job, and I had no right to not get back to her that way.  That it was wrong of me.  That she was in the right, she did the professional thing, that the hedges should not be cut back by me or anyone but the owner,  that if I misunderstood her and took her comments the wrong way that was my problem, and then a sarcastic ‘hope you got the help you need’.

One of my all-time favourite comments. “Hope you get the help you need”. So passive-aggressive.  So effing rude. 

I told her I had no idea that she did rubbish removal (which is true) come and get it if she wants it. That she should remember that I am very sick and that my garden is not my highest priority when I’m having hospital procedures, and not doing well.  And that I didn’t see that I’d done anything wrong, or why she should be upset with me.

She responded with ‘Don’t be like THAT’

Gee, and there I thought she might say “Sorry”. Nope. No one in this world has the word “Sorry” in their vocabulary. Because everyone thinks they’re right, all the time, so why ever would you need a word like “sorry”?

To which I told her she’d attacked me. Out of the blue.  That if she had maybe asked politely for feedback, if I was unhappy with her work, that would have been a better approach.  Or she could have said “I saw on social media that you need some rubbish removed. I can do that for you if you like?”

Clearly, she didn’t want the work, she wanted to play the hurt, outraged victim.  (I didn’t say that to her).  Why do so many people revel in the ‘victim’ role? 

Also, I can hire whomever I choose, she has no right to get angry at me for responding to a post on social media.  And that maybe she should consider that people have complicated lives and maybe everything isn’t about HER.  How incredibly self-absorbed and insanely entitled. 

She texted me purely to upset me, which is not very professional, and not very nice. She had absolutely no reason to attack me for no longer using her services when she didn’t want to do the job.  I wasn’t mad at her for not wanting to do the work, she certainly had no right to be mad at me!

I also didn’t say that she was acting like a teenage, jealous girlfriend who’d been cheated on. Irrational, bitchy and childish.

What the F is wrong with people???

So now I get to breathe and meditate and try to get my good mood back. 

How dare she think I owe her anything? She refused the work, she didn’t want to do it. That’s fine. She’s under no obligation, but neither I am under any obligation to use her services.  She’d mown my grass three times.  We didn’t have any kind of contract, or long-term arrangement, in fact, she was coming fortnightly when I really wanted her to come weekly.  My grass grows fast in summer!  She was behaving as if I’d done her wrong, cheated on her, broken some sacred vow.

Totally irrational, emotional, and unprofessional.  

I’m so sick of petty little people. She clearly has very few problems if she can go around texting clients like a jilted girlfriend.   She clearly likes to make problems. 

No, I won’t post her name, no I won’t bag her business or badmouth her. I’m not that petty. I don’t care enough. And I have bigger problems. And I don’t need any more drama.

I’m just so tired of entitled people creating problems where there needn’t be any. I have plenty of problems, but honestly?  Trying to get someone to come and do a job regularly, on time, and do a decent job is practically impossible these days. Gardeners, cleaners, tradies. Find one who actually shows up when they say they will and actually does the job they’re being paid for, and it feels like a miracle.  They can afford to pick and choose, and good for them.  But sometimes their pickiness means they’ll lose a job.  That’s the risk.

Maybe it’s just where I live. Or is the whole world like this?

And that’s another reason I’ll take my chances with prednisone.  When I am disabled and bedridden and relying on a hired carer to help me with just about everything, I am totally vulnerable.  The quality of people in my part of the world is very low. My life doesn’t depend on my gardener showing up (or not). But my life might depend on a carer showing up or doing their job properly.  Prednisone can delay my disability so I don’t need a carer yet.  I’ll take it. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone. I can see how that will go.

And now?  I’m canceling my cleaner for tomorrow.  I’m going to take all this anger and upset and clean my own damn house.  Take that energy and use it for good.  I’m tired of being a cottage industry, a person for other people to make money off my disability.  Not today.  I need a break from people.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.