I have been very depressed for quite some weeks. I have been irrational at times, I have been sad, angry and even vengeful. It has been the lowest I’ve ever felt, and I was beyond the reach of the ‘usual’ advice. Get help. See your GP. Talk to a psychologist. Get some exercise. Change your diet. Stop abusing substances. All good advice, but all well beyond where I was at.
First, you have to be ready. And then you have to be strong enough to help yourself. Sometimes you just aren’t. And someone has to intervene. They have to be strong for you. And give…love, hugs, support…a gentle, kind shoulder. When you can’t see your own worth anymore, it takes someone else to show you THEY love you, they want you in their life, and they are prepared to sit with you and hold you and ride out the maelstrom with you.
Now I’m a little better than I was. And I realise, that’s exactly how this works. With lots of ‘little betters’. You don’t get from rock bottom to doing the cha-cha overnight. You get there in tiny, little steps. Small goals, every day. New habits, formed by repeating the good things, until there isn’t room for the bad thoughts. And with that in mind, I have set myself a big goal – be happy again! And little goals to achieve every single day that will slowly change my mindset back to the positive, happy person I used to be.
My other big goal is to improve my graphic design skills and generate an income. Photography is my love, but I’m not physically able to go out and get the shots I want. But design I can do from the couch, with my iPad. I just have to learn.
So every day I will create one simple design. A quote. An inspirational quote, if you will. Each morning I will choose one, and it will be my mantra for the day. I will create a picture of my quote and print it out. Every time I feel sad or low or afraid, I’ll look at my quote. Every time the anxiety is overwhelming, and I want to go back to bed, I’ll look at it again. Every time I tell myself that I suck, that no one loves me, that I’m worthless and have made too many mistakes to be redeemable, I’ll look at my quote. And STOP the bad thoughts in their tracks. Change my thought patterns. Stop beating myself up. The past is the past, and its time to leave it where it belongs…behind me.
I’ll create a product, a downloadable file to sell in my Etsy store, that people can print. So while I’m working on my mindset I’m also furthering the big goal, by achieving my little daily goals. At the end of 30 days, I’ll be in a more positive mindset because I’ll have created the habit of looking at the positive. And at the end of 30 days I’ll have 30 products in my Etsy store, and hopefully make some sales. And the whole time I’ll be building on my graphic design skills and learning new things. Little things, every day, to make big changes.
Sound trite? Yeah, I guess so. That doesn’t mean it won’t work though
And here’s today’s quote: “The best view comes after the hardest climb”
It’s been a hard climb just getting this far. There’s a long way to go. But I’ve started to turn things around, and that’s what counts.
Oh and I will be posting them all here, as accountablity. I’m not trying to sell you anything. I’m just inviting you along for the ride on my little experiment, and we’ll find out if it works together <3 Xxx