So I have a mass on my ovary (told ya something was wrong). Probably a cyst, but urgent follow up is required. Or that’s what the report said. My appointment was an hour ago, and the results are already online, which means my wonderful GP has them in his inbox. But he probably won’t get them to them until Monday.
The report says it’s a complex cyst with thick walls. Those are the kind that might be cancer, but that vast majority are not malignant. I know this. But still, I am quite terrified, because I have always had a ‘thing’ about ovarian cancer.
The good thing is that the cyst is small. I’ve read about people having football sized cysts. This one is causing pain and irregular bleeding during the month, so its big enough to be a problem. And its messing with my hormones, my moods and PMS have been getting worse, which I also blamed on the prednisone, because prednisone is the most powerful hormone of all, and it affects everything, including your estrogen and progesterone levels.
I knew from the things the tech was saying that she’d found something, after many years of being scanned all over the place, you get a sense for these things. Even when you have an ultrasound transducer jammed up your lady parts, you still know.
Also, the fact that she called someone else in to take a look, and then they both went outside to discuss it was a bit of a giveaway (privacy is key when you’re having a transvaginal ultrasound).
The fact that she started talking about hysterectomies and asking all kinds of questions about my family history, and my personal history of gynaecological complaints was a bit of a pointer as well. I was worried about endometrial cancer, given I’ve had a previous endometrial ablation and I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), both of which raise the risk. And with the symptoms I’ve been having (pain, bleeding, fullness and bloating) I’ve been aware for a few months that something is not right, but there has been so much else going on, and I have been so sick in other ways, that it has taken time to get around to this ultrasound. I’m very glad I didn’t dismiss it and tell myself ‘it’s nothing’ as so many people do.
It’s something, I’m just not sure what yet.
Please God, don’t let my decision to have an endometrial ablation 18 months ago have been the worst decision of my life. The other option was a complete hysterectomy. I could have had ovaries and all taken away, and there’d be nothing to worry about now.
Remember the bit where I said somewhere recently in my ramblings, that no sooner is one crisis over than the next one is on the horizon? Well now they don’t even have the decency to wait until one crisis is manageable before the next one appears. On Monday I have the funeral service in the morning, the wake in the afternoon, which I will have to leave to attend my appointment with my immunologist – not negotiable, I still have a lot of immunological problems to address, and I need to scan the ultrasound report and send it urgently to my gynaecologist and hope she will see me soon.
