I used to have a very high pain tolerance. As time has gone on, I think I’m tolerating the pain less. It is always knife sharp in my lumbar spine, but now with the prednisone at 12mg, its a doubled edged twisting knife. Even when I am still, the knife is there, twisting away.
It’s exhausting trying to block out severe pain. Oxycodone doesn’t help it much, but I’ll take what I can get. I have taken naprosyn today, even though I’m not supposed to take it…3 times a month my cardiologist said. I need it more than that.
My reaction times are impaired due to pain. I am nauseous, due to pain.
My eyes are constantly inflamed, I have to go to the doc today, because its not clearing up and if its uveitis or similar, then my vision is at risk.
I’m trying a new GP, closer to home. I’m also seeing my old GP this afternoon, for my monthly pain medication appointment. If the local GP doesn’t want to take me on, I still have her in reserve. I really need someone closer to home though, I don’t feel safe driving that far, so I’m looking for a carer to take me.
I’m tired of the pain. I’m tired of it waking me at night. I’m tired of it being there constantly, at a 7 or 8 (by my pain chart 🙂 ). I used to tolerate it, with little complaint. But I know that at 15mg of prednisone it is much more bearable. It’s still there, its always there, but its much more manageable. And I no longer see the point of living with terrible constant pain when I don’t have to.
My doctors don’t agree. But sitting in the dark with inflamed eyes, ringing ears and pain in most of my joints, some of it severe, like broken bones, like the day after ortho surgery, living like that every single day is not living.
It will be interesting to see what my new GP has to say. She comes highly recommended, she is only two suburbs away, I really hope she is prepared to take me on. And maybe she’ll have some new ideas. Who knows?
There is always hope 🙂