I am unbelievably nauseous. I ate some dry toast washed down with water, just so that I have something in my stomach to take my other meds with. You need to take NSAIDs with food, no matter how much you don’t feel like any food!
Prednisone I think goes down better with food also. To tell the truth, I am not sure. But I also take metformin which must be taken with food, so something as plain and inoffensive as possible is required.
My head is spinning and aching. I feel dizzy every time I try to move, and my stomach feels like someone kicked me. Hard.
This is normal for me on methotrexate.
Worse than all of this is that I am feeling very down. Admitedly, all of the above is enough to get anyone down. All of the above combined with the pain of rheumatoid arthritis is MORE than enough to get anyone down.
But usually I am able to paste a smile on my face, think of all the people who have worse autoimmune arthritis, or worse diseases than RA, and focus on the good things in my life.
Methotrexate saps that ability. Methotrexate makes life seem bleak. Methotrexate turns me into someone else, someone that I don’t like so much.
I have been tapering up slowly…and the last dose increase made me feel this way also. Then it passed. 7.5mg is where the depression usually starts. 10mg is where the depression previously became unbearable.
It’s feeling that way right now, but I have to believe it will pass. It will improve. It is very hard to tell myself this, but I have to persevere. Last Wednesday, when I took my 10mg, I felt OK the day after. Then the side effects kicked in with a vengeance on the Friday.
Yesterday I was just starting to feel a bit normal again. But yesterday was Wednesday, which is methotrexate night, so I had to take my dose and start the process again.
I actually stood there for a full five minutes with the pills in one hand, huge glass of water in the other and argued with myself about whether I was going to take them. It is extremely hard to put something in your body that you know is going to make you feel appallingly awful, in the *hope* that in a few weeks it will start to make you feel better.
It is a testament to how appallingly awful Rheumatoid Arthritis is, that I will put myself through this in the hope of beating this disease into remission. Ultimately, there is no choice. Down the hatch!
I can only hope that each week, the side effects will get milder, and their duration will get shorter. After six weeks of 7.5mg I was no longer feeling any side effects. How long will it take with 10mg? I don’t know.
I see my rheumy tomorrow, which is fantastic – I have a lot of venting to do, and he is wonderful. I know he will be happy that I am taking methotrexate – it is essential that I take it, if I am to have any further treatment options and for him to be able ot help me.
He wants me to get to 15mg, but he said if I could get to 10mg, he would be happy. At this point, I am going to tell him I am going to stay at 10mg for quite a while. Probably a solid three months to see if 10mg will have any effect on my joint pain, fatigue, eye issues, raynauds…it may just be enough to make life liveable again.
If I can just get passed these side effects….