Today is a full body megaflare knockdown day. I have taken all the pain meds I can take. More will only make me pass out. I’m sorry I’m not keeping up with responding to messages and posts. I’m not keeping up anything really. This level of pain is all encompassing.
This is the kind of pain that actually brings tears to my eyes, just trying to get to the kitchen to take my meds. It is a true full body megaflare, including my jaw and ribs. Wheelchair doesn’t help because my shoulders and wrists are excruciating as well. This is lie down and be still pain.
Tomorrow I drop to 7.5mg from 10mg, so this may be my life for a while. I’m emotional and teary sometimes but I am OK. I will be OK. This is pain, but there’s nothing going on beyond that.
It’s ‘just’ pain.
It’s the business end of this taper, and its taking me to a place where my rheumy is paying attention and going to get me the next biological, rather than turfing me as a head case. There’s a purpose to all of this, and that makes it much easier to cope with.
And maybe it won’t be like this every day. This could just be a knockdown *day*. Tomorrow can always be better. Always :).
I have been very quiet, and I am likely to keep being quiet. I thank you all for your good wishes and support!!! I have a few very good friends, and this page, and that’s a lot more support than some people have. I’m still feeling positive. I’m just in too much pain to blog much. But it won’t be forever. And it will get better :). #hurtingbuthappy